We're UNDER the porch!
Yes, in the photo below, we are U-N-D-E-R the porch.
Why? You ask?
Well, let me tell you ... my husband is SMART and I DO love him so. He has an engineer-mind and can visualize and figure out how to do lots of things that I have no clue about ... like ... building a porch.
But he does make mistakes ... shhh, don't tell him I said so; he tends to dwell on it without my reminders. Anyway, we must have been so excited to lay down the composite decking when we were to the point that the porch was all framed in (and when I say "we", I mean HE) that reinforcing the hangar brackets sort of slipped our minds.
What's a hangar bracket?
It's those shiny metal things in the photo below. The support beams/boards rest in each one of those and AFTER the composite decking was laid in place and securely fastened, THEN the light bulb 💡 went on.
So, Dawn and and I were all ready to help our husbands out while they worked on other areas. We said we didn't mind if we got a little dirty or had to use all our muscles.
(Reminder to self: be careful what you say out loud!)
So there we were ... UNDER the porch doing our best to add the reinforcements.
( in the dirt
and mud
with the bugs
and mosquitos
and the wood dust and metal shavings
flying into our hair and faces )
But you see, many of the eyelets were too tight for us to get the nail or screw into it so we had to DRILL A HOLE into the metal and then we hammered a nail into the hole.
This is called IMPROVISATION.
(and it was really difficult)
Jonah was a little trooper and a big help as he laid UNDER the porch holding a light up for us because, of course, we were doing this in the later part of the day turning to evening.
Brynn even rotated in to help hold the light for us when Jonah needed a break.
We took turns, Dawn and I, drilling and hammering ... Dawn on the left and me on the right.
Yea, sometimes you just have to lay in the dirt and not care because the burn is REAL, friends. The burn is real.
It was SUPER hard but we made it!
Not the best photo but at least we're smiling.
We kind of felt like that was one of the hardest things we had ever done, certainly for this porch project. We really struggled but we prevailed and that's all that matters.
And then came the next day ... here's a cutesie photo of the two of us just as our work day was beginning.
**Okay, and here's the PSA (public service announcement) for those of you wondering: Yes, I am letting my gray hair come in so for a while I have to deal with this awkward hair thing. It is what it is ... it's just hair**
While everyone else was busy working on laying what would be the roof of the porch, the husbands sent us to Home Depot.
So exciting to see each step of the process...
Right. Home Depot ... sometimes I think I document too much via way of photos and videos but ... well, sometimes it's not nearly enough because I'd just like to prove that "we can't make this stuff up people!"
Certainly, we are on the surveillance of Home Depot and we might even find our way onto YouTube because the footage has got to be worthy. Either that, or Home Depot has provided our names to the local police for being potential stalkers and, at minimum, dominating the time of Home Depot staff.
Okay, I may be slightly exaggerating ... but really, ONLY SLIGHTLY.
On this particular day we went to Home Depot SIX TIMES to return items, buy items, return some more items and then to buy items again. Our return items were in the category of Large and Long, 20 foot composite decking (which is extremely flexible so hangs out of the vehicle on a curve), 12 foot 4x4 vinyl sleeves, pneumatic air nailer and several other items. On one particular return, we had to use TWO large hand carts end to end to try to transport the really long items from my vehicle into the store. WE WERE CERTAINLY A SIGHT and let me assure you, we caused quite a ruckus, albeit unintentional. Again, footage would likely be very entertaining. If only I was that type of person who videos herself .... ahh, well.
So, on one of our store trips we were sent to purchase some "metal bracket thingys to hold wood together when roofing". Yes, that is exactly the terminology used when we asked a Home Depot employee for assistance. Yes, we needed to ask for assistance because the informational aisle signs didn't say anything like "metal bracket thingys" AND we didn't even know what they looked like.
Ahhh, the things we do for the ones we love.
When we asked the employee if he knew what we needed, ... he immediately knew what we were talking about and proceeded to take us directly to where they were. So, they actually have a real name: Plywood Sheathing Clips. We didn't even have ONE of those words in our description.
(we'll be nominating him for employee of the month for his stellar deciphering skills)
What we found is that the Plywood Sheathing Clips come in a couple of different sizes and the husbands did not indicate what size we should get. In their defense, they didn't know they come in various sizes ... I mean, they've never even built a porch before! But we thought it best to contact them to ask which size we should get. I took the photo of the package and texted it over to Brian and asked the question.
--- No Response ---
Well, he's not usually quick to respond because he doesn't usually have his phone right there with him so while I waited for a text, Dawn tried to call Andrew. Surely he would answer because Andrew carries TWO phones!!
(no, I am not kidding)
Hmm, Andrew didn't answer either.
(Okay, that's odd)
After trying a couple times, it occurred to us that we were not getting any cell reception. So we meandered around the store looking for the cell signal bars to increase on our phones.
Guess what?? Reception is scarce in Home Depot but we finally found it! You'll be happy to know that it is in Aisle 19, center of the aisle, right next to the "seconds" wood that is piled up in a hand cart!
Do people actually buy "seconds" wood?
Yes, ... yes they do. There was a guy looking through it and he told me what it is so ... that's how I know.
Phone call SUCCESS and we were on our way again!
When we got back from the Depot, we got up on the roof to ... again ... assist in whatever way we could. (I think we ladies are up for an Academy Award or something!)
Here we are sporting the cute matching drills. They are just the cutest things, light and easy to use ... one of them is an Impact Drill and if you don't know what that is (which I didn't), you don't know what you're missing (LITERALLY! 😆😆) but these little babies are now on my Wish List.
A roof is a great place to just hang out ... don't you know?
Here we all are ... up there on the roof ... just hanging out and enjoying the view!
... in case you're wondering, here's the view ...
So, here's Andrew and I posted this photo so that I could tell you a little story about him. You might not be able to tell but this project has been a bit of a stretch ... on all of us ... but ... well, I hope he doesn't mind my saying so about him, but God sure moved in this guy in a MIGHTY way.
Andrew is not keen on heights ...
... or climbing ladders ...
... or hanging out on roofs ...
In the beginning, there were points that I think he was perfectly content never moving an inch from the spot he was in.
(Okay, I got up here. I think I'll just stay put. FOREVER.)
But let me just say, I do believe that Andrew has overcome ... God can do that. He gives us the power and the strength to do things we just don't think we can do. He shows us the way to move through the things that hold us back or prevent us from moving forward.
That's how God is ... He's been with us through this whole project. Our hands have been His hands.
He sure is a good, good God.
So, just when I thought that the comedy and struggle couldn't get any worse OR be topped, well, ... I should just know better.
I didn't really get any photos of this next part ... because ... well it was just too hard and frustrating. REALLY! Oh, we can laugh about it now and no, we aren't deterred from doing what we can to keep helping, now and in the future, ... but boy, oh boy, let me just tell you, I was so frustrated by my inabilities that I was on the edge of throwing a baby-fit and I surely would have if I hadn't been on the edge of a roof!
We went back to the Depot ... oh yes we did!
This time we were sent for flashing. It looks like this:
So, our job was to line it all up, overlapping each piece about 1/2 inch and driving a nail into the two overlapped pieces. I know what you're thinking. The pneumatic nailer would be the most awesome tool to assist us in this task, HOWEVER, due to the very narrow space we were working in, it was not a viable option. We had to do it manually ... BY HAND.
On one end of the roof, this task really was not too bad. We didn't have too much trouble at all but THEN of course, after you say that out loud, the dark forces of evil take that as a dare and proceed to make it nearly impossible to continue and succeed. After Andrew moved on to helping Brian with another task, Dawn, and I spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to manually hammer nails into the flashing ... TO NO AVAIL ... and sincere amounts of EXTREME SWEAT and FRUSTRATION ... we were about ready to give up.
But dear husband picked up on my pending nervous breakdown, and he came up to see if he could offer some assistance. He saw all the spots we were trying to get a nail through the metal flashing and in one fell swoop, he took a 2 1/2 inch screw and the Impact Drill and almost instantly inserted the screw INTO THE HOLES WE ALREADY MADE BY OUR EXTREME EFFORTS WITH.A.HAMMER.AND.NAIL.
So, there's this:
And this:
It's okay, ... I'm over it. Really I am. No, really.
After that, well, Dawn and I vacated the roof and the men continued on.
Andrew worked on the large portion of flashing to cover the peak of the roof and Brian got busy removing a section of the decor roofing that covers another portion of the house.
Here's the flashing that Andrew worked on.
And here's Brian as he begins to remove a section of the roofing.
Here's the background on why Brian removed a portion of the decor roofing:
Remember the story about the raccoon?
He really is a cutie pie, isn't he?
Okay, okay, Andrew, I'm sorry ... Raccoons are NOT cute; they are a MENACE to humans and dwellings, especially humans and their dwellings.
In the "foggy" photo below, Andrew is showing "exhibit A" - the former entry point the aforementioned Cutiepie Raccoon, ahem, Menace to all humans.
This is a slight sore spot for Andrew and it is his intention that there be NO POSSIBLE WAY for any future raccoons or their offspring or their distant relatives or their neighbors and their friends to EVER, EVER, E-V-E-R have the opportunity to share residence with them AGAIN!!
Completely understandable, Andrew!
Nearly there...
And then they finished up the evening by laying down the Tar Paper or Roofing Felt; I'm not really sure which one they ended up with but it basically does the same thing and we all agreed "we" should not quit until it was laid ... just in case rain was in the forecast over the next few days (which I believe it was).
They did it. They stayed up there even though it was getting dark. We got them a light and they continued on ...
And voila!! Part Five is complete.
Halleluia!!!
I will tell you that this is my second time creating this post, which is partly why it took so long to do. I had the whole thing typed up and then BAM*@!$&* ... something happened and the post was just gone. I nearly cried.
But sometimes things are like that. Sometimes we need to do the multiple times ... maybe it's so we can really absorb the task or the information or the experience. Whatever it is, I don't believe it's for "nothing" even though sometimes it feels that way.
Just because we can't always see the purpose in something right at the moment it happens ... well, that doesn't mean there isn't a purpose.
There's a process to everything ... it's all about the process ... and if you're sticking it out with us as we document this process with the old, old porch project, ... KUDOS!!
We hope you're enjoying the humor and extracting the heartfelt messages.
Thanks for being here and sharing this with us.
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