We made it through the first week back to school after the Christmas break! This week at school was a lot better for the boys than the first week of school they attended, although, still there were a few hiccups, but nothing too crazy.
It was this Mama’s first week back to work after being off for the past couple months too. It was pretty hard for me, … I’ll admit. Needless to say, I was glad when the weekend came.
On Tuesday, it was arranged that Brian would pick up the kids from school, instead of me because I was working later that day. When I arrived home that evening, after working a much longer day than I normally would (so quite tired), I was greeted by my two new little sons with a barrage of loud grunting and brute force keeping me from opening the door to enter the house. They LITERALLY prevented me from entering the house for several minutes. At first, I thought they were just fooling around and maybe they were ... whatever it way, ... they were NOT letting me in. Finally, I just gave up and stood there in the hopes that someone would take pity on me and allow me into my own home. I especially began to wonder about the validity of my role as I knew my husband was in close proximity to Jonah and Rees ... hmmm, wondering how long these two boys could keep their mama on the other side of the door? When finally I was allowed inside, apparently much to the dismay of Rees, he began punching and kicking at me as I tried to greet him and shower him with affection after missing him all day. I tried multiple ways to let him know I was happy to see him and that I was interested in his day and he would have none of it as he pushed me away and spoke negatively to me (partly in English and partly in Chinese). I just had to walk away ... deflated.
I really felt discouraged about this incident. Rees has not been as fond of me as I had hoped and imagined he would be. I know every child is different and we have our ups and our downs. A definite "up" would be the very next morning when he came out of his bedroom after waking up, he immediately came to me and said, "Good Morning, Mama," and then hugged me. This does not normally happen, folks!
You know ... one thing I've learned in the last few years, partly because of adopting children and partly because of me just getting older and not having the same endurance that I used to ... but "Structure and Routine" really are essentials!! After that incident on Tuesday and the way that the rest of the week went, I had one of those "light bulb" moments when it struck me that Rees probably was acting out with me because I did not pick him up from school and it disrupted the routine that he was working towards being accustomed to. The process of "getting used to" something is likely greatly amplified compared to children who have always been with their parents and even though there wasn't anything bad about Brian picking the kids up from school, it was different than what they had been trying to get used to for the previous several weeks when it was always "me" picking them up from school. I realize that I may have told Brynn that I was working later but I didn't explain it to the boys because I didn't really think they would understand anyway since they don't really grasp the concept yet of my going "to work". So ... we'll see how it goes. Next week, there will be another similar day; this time I'll explain it first and see if that makes a difference.
On Wednesday, Rees had an appointment with the Neurosurgeon, which was basically just a technicality because the Neurosurgeon will perform the first part of his surgery, which is to remove the portion of the skull that encloses around the encephalocele. Well, of course, he said that he wants Rees to have an MRI of the brain "just to make sure there aren't any issues." So, ... on Tuesday, he will go back for an MRI of the brain.
On the following Tuesday, he will have his "Pre-Op" appointment to evaluate his eligibility to have his surgery the following day. Tomorrow I'll post more about the surgery and what he will have done using Molly's first surgery as an example. In the meantime, please enjoy some photos taken from this weekend. We decorated for Chinese New Year ( a little early as it's not until February 8, but we have a tight schedule so we did it now) and got to play in the snow!
Jonah was SUPER EXCITED to decorate after I told him that we celebrate Chinese New Year!!
He made the most wonderfully joyful sounds!!
We put decorations on the windows and hung them from the curtain rods too!
Chinese New Year is a big deal in our house and have two new Chinese dumplings makes it just a little more exciting!!
It will be fun to celebrate next month!
This weekend we also got some more snow (not the hard, freezing kind) so the littles were able to play in the snow with their new snow toys. They really enjoy being in the outdoors ... which is perfect, since we are that sort of outdoors-y type family!
Making the perfect snowballs!!
A happy little trio ... MOST of the time!!
Hauling the tools ...
It seems like they are immune to the COLD!
Too much fun!
Just a suggestion for helping the boys process routine and changes in routines- particularly when as they relate to you. You might try to post a daily or weekly visual schedule to include information like school, who picks them up, activities, appointments, etc. Go over the schedule each day. If Dad picks them up, he can also remind them of the schedule. You can leave love notes that you love them and will be back and when. This method helps children with separation anxiety and comprehension issues.
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