The Changes in Jonah and Rees ... 8 Months Home

Jonah:

- When we met him he was selfish and stubborn.  He would throw a fit at the slightest incident and cry like his hand was cut off if he didn't get every balloon he saw.  He was a tough kid to like in the beginning.  

- He likes to be first at everything though he is reluctantly learning others get to be first sometimes too.  

- He is a really good eater!  The only food he does not like is macaroni and cheese - can you believe that?  At first, eating for him was a competition that made him very anxious.  When he would see at particular food being eaten up by other family members, he would become upset and shovel his food so that his plate could be replenished.  He can eat more than almost every family member in our household ... BUT ... he is a much calmer eater now.  He knows there is always food available to him.

 - He is a very smart boy!  He has amazing survival skills that we have picked up on and which have helped us to understand him better. 

 - He is motivated by positive response / reaction.  He just beams when he knows that we are pleased with him and then he tries to do more of what pleases us.

 - He is a gentle and sensitive boy most of the time but he can sometimes be a bully, which likely stems from his self-esteem.  He can get very excited and really enjoy himself but he can also break out into a fit of terrible crying, seemingly for no reason.  When he's sad or upset, he's REALLY sad or upset!  But when he's happy, he's REALLY HAPPY!  He is so brave and yet, he lives in fear of his next medical procedure. 

- The first meaningful word we realized he could read (besides his name and Rees' name) was "Apple".  

-   He's been on Summer Vacation for a couple of weeks now, which is something new to him.  Each day when I come home from work, he runs out the door to meet me as I get out of my vehicle.  He's excited to see me and he wraps his arms around my waist and says "Jonah love Mama".  

 - He's still crazy about balloons and he wants as many as we will allow.  What he appreciates most about having surgery or blood draws or CT scans  ... is the BALLOONS; he's come to expect that and that's okay!
- Jonah is creative and curious and he loves to learn.  We have seen that he has a great capacity to learn and despite his limitations, he is so smart and he is absorbing so much information and processing quickly.  He has surprised us several times with his ability to complete a task before being given the instructions and even though he can't communicate very well, he is able to figure out how something should be spelled based on what he knows of the sounds.

Rees:

If he thinks I’m frustrated or if one of the other children are ‘in trouble’, he comes to me to give me a hug and super big smile with his fingers up by his ears ... it looks like this.

- He repeats things over and over, like plans for the day or who's picking him up or what is going to happen at an appointment ... we think it is a way that he finds comfort or maybe helps him to push out the fear of a situation.  

He is so quick to help (make dinner, set the table, feed the dogs, clear the table)

- For months he sat as far away from me as possible and preferred only to sit with Baba in Baba's chair during movie night.  Now, he asks to sit between Mama and Baba on the couch.  

- For months, he would barely speak to anyone outside our immediate family.  While hospitalized, he would never make eye contact and would only do small, quick nods for either "yes" or "no".  A switch was flipped in this boy (like turning on a light in absolute darkness, ...swift and dramatic) and the transformation has been amazing to witness!! He has likely shocked his doctors the most.  One day he barely acknowledged Dr. Denny's existence and the next day, Rees basically treated him like he was his very best friend in the world.  (the excitement in Dr. Denny's eyes at Rees' change was priceless and rewarding!)  Now, out of curiosity, he will say to a complete stranger, "What you doing?"  And he's entered the world of "wonder" like a toddler and asks "Why?" ... ALL.THE.TIME.

I'll never forget the first word I heard him say, as he came running up to me when he and Jonah were first brought to us, ...was "Mama".

 - He is a tremendous "worker bee".  He doesn't give it a second thought to jump in and help out.  He is an amazing kid who doesn't need to be told twice.

 - He is no longer anti-social but he does keep to himself and prefers more to watch and listen as opposed to "jump on the bandwagon" or the "tirade train".  (It somewhat annoys our other dumplings, which I find humorous) 

These boys have had so much happen to them in their short little lives ... and SO MUCH just in the last eight months.  They are resilient and strong and they have handled the experiences of these months far better than I have.  

I know that there are adoptive parents who shy away from "choosing" a child with severe facial differences ... the same way I shy away from a child with ... say, ... limb differences or heart defects.  But I'm sure the parents who do choose the children with limb differences and heart defects would say the same thing that I am about to say ... 

... my life, though currently exhausting and stretching, is far more enriched with the presence of these broken, yet beautiful lives.  When you look past the defects and the scars, there is this tiny person with the largest personality you never dreamed could even be possible.  

We aim to love them and to help them and ... to heal them ... YET, we find that they have loved us ... and helped us ... and by God's grace, ... they have healed US!

It is a revelation that is as sweet as my favorite chocolate 

and now that I've tasted it ... oh, how I cringe at the thought of my life without it.