PROCESS-ing ...

Today is five months since Jonah and Rees set foot and became citizens in the USA.    

WOW!  

In five months, so much has happened … a year ago, we were only just beginning the adoption process and then just like that, we had two more children in our family!!  Legally, it’s instantaneous but … it’s MORE than just adding a child to a family. With the completion of the adoption process, a new process begins.  I know this, truly, I do … we experienced it with our previous adoptions and I’ve seen it and heard about it countless times with other adopting families.  I’ve seen other families go through months and sometimes years of adjustment and acclimation after adopting a child.  It’s a process and just like any process, it requires “a series of actions and steps taken in order to achieve a particular end.”  While we adjust to having two more children and they adjust to having a family, we are also working at teaching them English, Colors, Numbers, Letters and all the things six and seven year old's should know.  To top it off with whipped cream and a cherry, we are also in full-swing of the medical journey we're on with each of our newest sons.

Something I’ve learned about myself (or come to admit, rather) is that I like it when things GET DONE!  I like to check things off the working list on which my mind is continuously jotting.  Problem is my mind is full of new prompts which add to my ever-growing list and before you know it, I’m fighting with myself because I have too many self-delegated things to do and not nearly enough time to get any of those things done.  No check-marks equals self-esteem chaos!

So on top of all of my other incomplete tasks (self-appointed I remind myself), yesterday, at Jonah’s ‘Check-and-Measure’ appointment (as I like to call it), the doctor said he looks great and to keep doing what we’re doing but then she said … “You know he’s not going to be done when they originally told you, right? He has a long way to go.”

Yep, I even throw in to my “to-do-list” the things I have no control over.  Silly … but true!

Patience is a hard thing … you know, once I decide something, I do it!  Though, typically, I tend to stay in the shallow waters.  I like to see my feet touching the bottom.  In the past, the LORD has always blessed me with safety, good health and security.  He has humbled me with His provision and with the opportunities to serve and grow.  But I think He thinks I’ve matured … because I have definitely moved into deeper waters.  I’m already there; no turning back!  But I’m a terrible swimmer and treading water, for me, is tough.  I always say that if I had to tread water to save my life, … I’d drown.   I don’t like deep water.  But it’s a long way to the shore.  And I certainly don’t want to drown.  So, I have no choice but to tread … and.it’s.EXHAUSTING. I’d sure like it if someone would come and pluck me out of the water and place me gently upon the warm, sandy shore.

In the meantime, as I strive to check things off my list ...

… the LORD is teaching me every day to ‘be still’,

And to remember that learning colors and numbers and letters takes time.

… to ‘be patient’ …

Especially when I worry that he doesn’t yet know how to tie his shoes and he still can’t remember the color Red. 

… to 'trust' …
It’s going to be okay if they’re 8 and 7 years old and still in kindergarten.

… to be 'thankful' …

I’m so thankful; truly, I am … I’m thankful that the LORD is always patient with me, even when I’m not ... but I do have to make a conscious choice each day to hold on to ‘thankfulness’.

As I do, I’m also learning to live in THIS MOMENT.  Experience THIS MOMENT.  Enjoy THIS MOMENT.

I don’t have to wait until skin has closed and scars are formed to be thankful for our sweet little boy, Rees, who now wants to sit by me during a movie or gives me a hug after each time I clean and re-dress his wound.

I don’t have to wait until we’ve reached 20 mm of jaw movement and zero overjet to be thankful for the progress Jonah has already worked so hard to make.

I’m not able to indicate completion for a lot of the things on my mind’s To-Do-List right now.  ... Every day I have to tell myself “that’s okay.”  ... I will “wait” on the LORD … but that doesn’t mean waiting to live the abundant life He’s already given me. 

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD ~Psalm 27:14

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. ~John 10:10